Need advice about abusive relationships and why I want to go back?

I'm very confused and need help. I was with my ';ex'; for 2 1/2 years. I know I first wanted out after 6 about months. He was verbally abusive at first then over the last year it has turned to be occasionally physical. Now that I'm out, I'm having mixed feelings. I still see him a few times a week so he can visit our 18 month old son. (he never hurt him)





I don't understand why I want to go back. When I left he terrified me. I guess part of it is because he has stopped drinking (which was part of the problem) and he says if I decide I can feel safe around him again, he'll go to counseling. I cry when I think of not being with him, but I really don't know if I'll ever get over what happened or feel sexually attracted to him again.





What I really want is to be friends, but that isn't an option for him. Any advice on why this is so hard to decide and info about the mentality that goes with this kind of situation would be helpful. Thank youNeed advice about abusive relationships and why I want to go back?
Try and understand something very important here. It is extremely difficult for abusers to stop the cycle of abuse. They need to really commit to psychotherapy for a long time. Even when they successfully do that, their tendency to resort to violence remains pretty strong. Most of the times they regret what they've done. Sometimes, it's just too late for the victim.





I honestly believe that you've done the right thing to distance yourself from him. You've done something that most women in abusive relationships are not capable of doing. Congratulations for that.





The fact that you are now having mixed and confusing feelings is justifiable because of 3 things. first, he is the father of your son. second, you get to see him regularly. third, and most important, you want to believe that he has changed and/or that his abusive behavior was just a weird phase he went through. Of course all these feelings are normal. But be careful. Don't base your decision on feelings, because in this situation feelings are very misleading. Try to judge with your logic. And if you feel you need some help, talk about this with a professional.





In my opinion, you should try and maintain a good, polite relationship with him for the sake of your child. Being friends is not a good idea, because by spending time together your feelings will get even more confused- and he might get the wrong message. it is safer for you to be very specific about the kind of relationship you want, and behave accordingly. Agin, a specialist will help you understand the situation better and adjust your behavior to the circumstances.





No matter what you decide in the end, remember that yours and your child's safety should be your first priority.


Best of luckNeed advice about abusive relationships and why I want to go back?
You're doing the right thing.See,his mental abuse is still working with against u right now.You filling like you want go back to him is one of them.The other is, him trying to belieave that he really stop drinking. He think he really know you,how he can get you back to do all that all over again. If it be a next time, you he knows that his going to get you for ever leaving in the first place. Even if it seems good at first. The other mental abuse that he's doing is, acting as a good father in front of your eyes,so, you would wish your baby will have a mother and father (a family) for your your son. And he know that would make it harder for u to leave, no matter what he does to you.Because now,he can make you fill guilty about not raising your son together with him as a family.And last of all, Men always use that coumseling thing. Either his not going to follow threw, because now he's got you back in his reach or he's just saying it to just make you fill sorry for him, like other things he's doing to get back in his reach.Follow your better judgement. Keep saying no more. And for your child say no more. We all will meet the one for use sooner or later. He don't deserve you. Plz. don't! Keep your head up ti the skies.You'll be o.k.. Good luck! P.S. The friend thing, is just the same thing as going back with him. You don't need it. Know matter how much you fill sorry for him or fill alone. O.K. Bye!