Need advice,...(about ex)?

20 months ago my ex told me to leave, after i got over the initial shock i have done everything i could think of to help her and be a better man.we went through the custody thing and i didn't fight for fear of closing any doors in the future.we have a beautiful 4 year old daughter whom i love with all my heart. my ex is the only woman i have evr trully loved or will love.i don't want my daughter to have ';step parents';, because i still very much love my ex. what should i do?? i miss being a part of a family so much that at times it makes me ill.Need advice,...(about ex)?
You may want to try counseling to help you cope. I did it with a little pushing from one of my friends. I thought I was handling everything just fine, but as it turned out, I wasn't and counseling helped more than I realized it would. It's nothing to be ashamed of, lots of people go thru divorces, and lots of people go to counselors. Even if it's someone that you can talk to openly, and not have to worry about what is said repeated.


You will always be you daughters father, and as long as you are there for her when she needs you, she will always have a special bond that she shares with only you.


Word of advice----if you promise her something, say that you will be somewhere, take her somewhere etc. DO IT, don't let anyone or anything interfere with that. She will remember that daddy promised to take me some place and didn't.


You can move on with your life, you will. You can still be a part of your daughters life, you will. You will always be in your ex's life because you have a little girl that you both love. It's hard to believe right now, but you will be able to love again also. That will be the hardest part, but once you have recovered from the other things that have happened, you will.


You may want to find a book that is called ';When the love relationship fails'; it's a self help book and it helped me have a different perspective on things.


You will survive this. Many many people have.


One more thing, don't put your daughter in the middle of things. If you have a problem or something to discuss with your ex don't have your daughter ask or talk to her about it. You have to do it.





Good luck, be strong, you will get over the hurt evenutally.Need advice,...(about ex)?
Go ahead and puke. You'll feel better. Do whatever you can for your daughter for the next 14 years -- it will be gone before you know it.


You'll survive. Stay focused, eat crow if you have to. You have a daughter to raise.
Unfortunately in todays day it is so easy to divorce, but there is hope for the future. I know you do not believe in step families but I believe it can work as I married a man who married me with all four of my kids in tow. You will find happiness to when things calm down I will pray for you
It depends on if she appreciated the fact that you were helpful during the divorce and the custody thing. If she appreciated you then she has a good heart and may find that getting back with you could be a better thing now that you have been away from each other and what could be better than that little girl having her real parents as real parents. Try to see how much she is willing to let you back into her life and try dating her again the way that she likes to be dated and romanced. If she liked flowers and you never gave her flowers then now is the time to start again. Ask her out for lunch, in the day with a lot of people and try to enjoy each other and when the lunch is over go home. Don't pressure her into something that she is not ready to do but don't stay out of their lives for a long time. And good luck.
You are going to have to move on. Maybe try counscelling and life will be hard and time helps to heal the hurt.


Good Luck.
Be the best dad you can possibly be to that beautiful little daughter of yours--whatever it takes.





Since you still love your ex, then go back and do all the things you did in the beginning to win her heart (as much as she will allow). Any needed changes in your life that are truly genuine, will be noticed by your ex.
Have you told your ex this? One thing to remember don't start bickering in front of your daughter. Let your daughter know how much you love her and make sure you fight to stay in her life no matter what!
This is such a touch situation and I can't imagine the turnmoil that you are facing. First you must accept and respect the decision of you ex. I completely understand that you would want to run to her, to hold her, to love her as you once had. But living in the past and what could or would had been is now in the dark. You must learn to cope and live with the decision she has made. You will love again and I'm certain of it. But until you learn to let go of the past you will never be able to live in the present or enjoy another one's warmth in the future. You can still be great parents and not be married. Take your time and get to know who you really are and who you want to be to them as well as for yourself.