Needing advice about my 16 yr old daughter?

I have a daughter who turned 16 2 weeks ago. She is an insulin dependent diabetic. Since she has been with her boyfriend for 3mths she has changed. I feel like i have lost her. She always seems to be in a mood about something but when ever she is around her boyfriend she is the daughter that i love and adore. She is constantly rowing with her sisters and brother. She always seems to have attitude with her family. I really like her boyfriend but i just dont like how her having a boyfriend has changed her my whole family dont understand why she has changed like this. My kids have always come first in my life and she knows this i feel the only problem i have made is by spoiling them but if i dont do that no one else is. I jsut dont understand why she has got to change just cos of being with her boyfriend. I have asked her and we always end up rowing. She has also made comments that she is going to move out of our family home! Also she refuses on going back to school but she has had a doctors letter due to her suffering with panic attacks due to school bullies. She is adament she isnt going back!


How old does she have to be to actually leave the family home and can she leave school now! Everything i am suggesting to her i keep getting it thrown back in my face i feel i have no where to turn.


I love her and i dont want her to move out or ruin her life. She cant look after herself with her diabetes as i have to do it all as she forgets to have her insulin and i have to keep on at her to eat and check her bloods. I know one day she will be moving out but surely she cant do this at the age of 16!!???Needing advice about my 16 yr old daughter?
she can't legally move out at 16. she can at 17. you can't kick her out til 18.


I'm sure you already know this but she is at that age where they act like that. You have to be strong and lay down the rules and tell her if she keeps acting like that she won't be allowed to date. Take away her cell, her going out privileges. As a parent you have to be stern, she only threatens you with moving out because she knows you don't want that to happen, the likelihood of her actually running away is slim.





The only thing you can do is be stern, set down rules and always punish her for how she is behaving. You will fight her hard on this, but if you don't do it now, she will always behave like this and will always expect to get her way. Have her dad if you can lay down the law because for girls its scarier coming from him. This will be prob the hardest point as a parent in youre relationship with her- the teen years.


hope this helps.Needing advice about my 16 yr old daughter?
The issue sounds as though you need to give her some space and not to control her. It is not easy to allow a child to grow up and even harder when they have a medical problem. However she is growing-up and you need to let her have her space. Otherwise you will loose her forever.
Don't you remember being a surly, unruly teenager? This is her job, right now! It was yours when you were younger (maybe you didn't do it, I don't know - I didn't) but it is USUAL for this to be the case.


Who gets the prescriptions for her insulin? Is it you? You need to get a little by in reserve, and then let her know that from now on, her meds are her responsibility. Her name on the prescription, her job to go collect it. This will actually empower her, teach her self-responsibility, and that is the most valuable lesson a parent can teach a child.


As for the other issues, she may well just reach an inner-peace at some stage in her life. It amy take weeks, months or years - some people never do. You need to calmly tell her that you like her boyfriend, but even if this relationship with him may not last long, you will always be her mother. She needs to complete her schooling, or she will end up on minimum wage, in a life of drudgery.
She may be acting strangely because she doesn't feel that she's getting the attention/respect or whatever she wants from you, but she feels that she gets it from her boyfriend. She can drop out of school at 16 and she can move out if she gets emancipated. I think it might be a good idea for the two of you to go to counseling together to try to figure out what is going on with her, because truthfully, she is the only one who really knows.
She's having panic attacks, and you want her to go back??





If she's having panic attacks, then something is majorly wrong.





Most teenagers have an attitude at age 16, that's fairly normal.





But the school issue, you really REALLY need to actually listen to her.


She's not having debilitating, scary panic attacks for the fun of it you know.





You need to talk, and actually listen to her.





As for her Diabetes, she'll learn to take care of herself. She's perfectly able now, and if not, then she'll be able to soon.


Get off her back about it. Treating her like a child and always nagging her about it isn't going to help her.





At age 16, I was by myself, I'm diabetic, living halfway across the country from my parents, and planning to travel around to the USA.





At age 16, she is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, you need to realise that.
If you are in the US, she can drop out of school legally without your permission at 16, in most places. However, she still needs your permission to move out.





I am wondering if her attittude has more to do with whats going on at school, rather than her having a bf. I mean, what EXACTLY is going on at school that she refuses to go back? Do you know? What has she said about it? Have you talked to her teachers/principle to see about resolving the problem? Is there another school in the area and is it possible to transfer her?





Do you think its possible that she is into drugs? I dont advocate it most of the time, but maybe you should have a look in her room for any clues for drugs and for clues about what exactly is going on at school.





And, dont forget, she IS a teenager. Teenagers by definition are moody and unstable.





I suggest you work on finding out exactly what happened at school, and then set your foot down and pull rank... she NEEDS to be going to school and she NEEDS to live at home. You are the parent, and she is the child.
shes 16 she doesnt have the money to move out. im 19 and when i get in fights with my parents i say im leaving to try to get them off my back, hopefully thats her case.





a lot of girls are like that when they have a boyfriend they think they're in love with, only happy when their around them and a lot of time they abandon they're family and friends to be with them. its like they can only be happy when their with him. hard to explain.





but in canada a kid can drop out of highschool once their 16 and can officially move out when their 18 so you still have some control over her living arrangements
she's 16 and dealing with what she probably sees as a disability (the whole life not fair thing).. her acting up has nothing to do with her having a boyfriend... in fact.. it is probably more likely to be the other way around!





counseling for the panic attacks





freedom of choice and get her into a new school





home school if you have no other choice





keep the love flowing!





even if she does move out.. she'd learn a hard lesson on life real quick... which might be good for her in the long run... so just try to stay positive.





a counselor could work with you also (while working with her) on better ways to interact and address her concerns.
With parental consent she can drop out at 16. She can also get emancipated but only with a good reason. Eventually she will need to move out of the home though and grow up. It almost sounds like you've babied her too much if she's 16 and can't even look after herself and her own insulin. But she's a teenager, teenagers are like that. Maybe you should consider homeschooling her or switching her schools if she's having that much trouble at school? She's just becoming more independent and it probably has little to do with the boyfriend.