I then took a casual job driving for a hire company - [ I'm a mature student] and more or less the same thing happened. I would be told to do something and after doing it I was told off. I was working with this particular man who seemed to take offence to the fact that I was a law student. He would sarcastically say ';why is lawyer working as a driver'; knowing full well that I was just a student and not a lawyer [I had never told him I was studying Law. My boss did]. I left the job as the bullying got so bad.
Yesterday I took some casual Xmas work for one day. It involved serving catered food to a rich family. I worked really hard even meeting up with the man who had advertised the job [not the family!] at 1.00pm at his whim even though the job did not start until 5.30pm. During the time there I was working hard, taking no breaks and the man who advertised the job [not the family catered for] would tell me to wash up, then within a second start bullying me and ask me to clear the plates. As I was doing that he would then tell me off and demand I do something else.Not once did he have a problem with my standard of work as he said so but he just seemed to relish brow beating me.The strange thing is that after he started bullying me the younger worker joined in. It was awful. At one point I simply felt like leaving and letting them find their own ways home - 40 miles away - but my car was hemmed in by other people at the house of the rich people.
I am not a weak woman and do not come across as vulnerable so I have never understood why this happens. I am not weak but I am not bullish. I do not argue with people nor am I ever abrasive. I do the job that is asked of me and more. I also try to be as friendly as I can but not overly friendly or a gossip. I just try to be professional really.
In the end I had enough and asked him to stop bullying me. I explained that I had taken the job for myself but alsoto help him out, (even driving to London when my car was not working) as I did not want to let him down. He needed transportation as did the other worker.
The whole thing admittedly is getting me down. If I was a slacker and spent my time chatting at work or taking long breaks I could understand this. It is beginning to knock my confidence and I almost dread applying for jobs now.
I just do not know how to handle things. People have never said that my attitude is bad or that my work is bad. When I am getting bullied, I tend to go into myself and go very quiet but this makes no difference to the person bullying me.Advice about work and how I can change how I am treated?
No one should have to tolerate being bullied by anyone. It's time for you to speak up. Calmly and firmly.
Unfortunately there's a lot of hostility in the workplace these days, i.e. some people feel threatened by/or are jealous of, a good worker. By bullying they technically create a hostile environment.
Anytime some higher-up asks you to work on a project or task, document exactly what he/she wants you to do, including that person's name/title, date, name of project and when you completed it. If you're told off or asked why you did it after doing it - document every word said/mannerism towards you by that person.
Next time someone starts bullying you-stop them in mid-sentence with your arms folded, and calmly say:
';I'm NOT here to be bullied. When you're ready to talk to me in a CIVIL manner, in your office, I'll be more than glad to listen';
and walk away, then hit your keyboard and document: Date, time, Person's name/title, conversation, manner of, what transpired, i.e. bullying words and mannerisms if any. Request a meeting with your boss, give him a copy, and also document your meeting with him.
If the situation isn't resolved within a reasonable amount of time, next stop's HR, with copies of your documentations and date given to HR.
Documentation gives you a sense of empowerment, and if you end up going to court vs. the company, it's what lawyers and judges like to see.
Then when you see on the 6:00 news - ';Coworker takes out supervisor and other coworkers. Stay tuned.'; people wonder why...what you've gone through could be one reason.
Good luckAdvice about work and how I can change how I am treated?
i'm sorry but this is just too long to read.
all you need to know is, focus on your schooling, become a lawyer, then things will be awesome,
most ';jobs'; suck. that's just how it is.
For the long term answer to this, you need to find an adult education class in your area which is running an assertiveness course. This will improve the way you come across in your current work situations, and also stand you in good stead when you progress with the law studies.
Quick fixes you might think about in the meantime-
1) stand UP for yourself - get more comfortable footwear, boots for preference, that will allow you to stretch up to your full height when the need arises. No good trotting round in court shoes all your life.
2) wear a small item of red- red marks you out as more valuable- a circular red brooch might be enough to do the trick.
3) drop into a crystal shop and see if a small piece of Tiger's eye catches your fancy. Tiger's eye is for independence.
Why does it happen? One word, jealousy.
Is it good to go very quiet when it happens? Not really. It sends bullies a signal that you are going to take what they dish out.
Get a tape recorder and when they say anything to you, pull it out and say, ';Would you mind repeating what you just said, please.'; Don't add anything more to it. Stop at that sentence.
They will be careful what they say to you after that.
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