I am 26 years old and my father is 50, about 1 month ago he walked out on my mom and two brothers. They are 18 %26amp; 21. But still live @ home with my mom while they commute to school. He came home drunk one night and told my little brother that he had been seeing this woman for bout 3 yrs. The next day he left, to move in with her and her mother and 3 kids. I was heart broken he was my best friend, I could talk to him about anything. We always talked really well about his and my mothers issues and he had told me about 2 weeks before him leaving that he was going to talk to my mom about their relationship. He never did and now I cant even talk to him or look at him. I am so heart broken. I am so upset with him and what he did. The worst part is he was never really home for us and now he is taking care of some other kids.And to make things worse he left wife a lady who is the town whore and who has been known on several occasions to break up marriages and then dump the man afterwards.Need advice about my father %26amp; his choice...?
My half brothers and sisters did not take it so well when our dad left their mom for my mom.The relationship is strained and some of my brothers and sisters still have issues from it. Only my mom was a virgin when she met my dad. Still doesnt matter. She was called a homewrecker and all those things. But my dad left his wife, my mom didnt make him. And truthfully I wasnt around so I dont really know how it happened. My oldest brother between my mom and dad does cause of how his older brothers and sisters treated him, as well as the youngest brother with their mom and my dad cause he feels left out. Its difficult to know exactly what went on. Your parents may not have been happy for a long, long time. You know a lot of times your mom may have been just as on happy but she put on a happy face until you were grown. I would stay out of it. He is your father and you are his daughter but their is nothing that you can do to get them back together. I would support your mom and your brothers but your dads decision is his to make and his alone.My second oldest half brother did exactly what your dad did, only his kids with his wife were young. He got with the town **** who already had 4 kids, had slept with his best friend.lived with her parents,and he actually married her and had a child with her. But when the boy was 7 he filled for divorce and left, he couldnt take it. Your parents staying together even though they were unhappy until you all were grown actually shows the dedication to you three. You don't know how hard it is to grit your teeth and bear something for years even when you are unhappy. I am sure your dad didnot want to hurt anyone. Its hard to please yourself and please everyone.Unfortunately we only have one life to live and maybe you feel your dad would have been better off leaving your mom years ago instead of now, but either way he may or may not have been more apart of you and your brothers lives. I think you need to chop it up and try to heal your own wounds right now, support your mom and your brothers who need you. But no matter what if your dad doesnt decide to come back home then he wont. And he may not be much more of a father to her 3 kids. You dont know that.My heart goes out to you and your family.Need advice about my father %26amp; his choice...?
eeesh- if you two could talk before then meet him and talk some more. tell him your thoughts and concerns but do know that he is a person too and has the right to find his own happiness. you and your brothers are all adults- he did his job in raising you. so tell him how he has made you feel and what you are worried about.
Let him learn his lesson by having the ';town whore'; dump him after she is done with him. He will regret his decision. Love him no matter what since he is your dad and later down the line if he seeks your forgiveness try to give it.
I dont know
This is a tough question...You are caught between a ';rock and a hard place'; with your Dad...He obviously disappointed you and your siblings with his behavior ...Here is my suggestion...Even if you can't stand the sight of him at this moment....Don't give up on your Dad...You already pointed out that he made a really stupid choice to move in with this woman. If what you say is true...Chances are he is going to be her next ';victim';. He may come to his senses and when he does ...find it in your heart to forgive him...We all make mistakes in life that we have to live with . Life is too short to hold grudges. Don't let his behavior destroy your life. You deserve better. Good luck!
I am so sorry you're going through this. It is devastating and heartbreaking when your parents do something that you can not, and should not respect. This is going to take some time to heal. He has done a horrible wrong and there's little he can ever do to make it right. He's hurt a lot of people, and lost the trust and respect of his children.
I don't often do this, but I would suggest you talk to a family counselor very soon. The longer you hold these feelings, the worse they're going to get, to the point where you'll completely disown your dad. It's obvious you adore your dad and he's hurt you deeply, you need to talk to someone who can help you figure out how to rebuild what your dad has broken. Hopefully dad will be open to attending counseling with you.
Good luck.
Wow, this is hard. I suggest that you let this thing set awhile. When you are emotionally ready, ask to talk to your father privately. Let him know how hurt you are. Let him tell his side and then tell him to listen to yours. There seem to be some real issues here. You love your father very much still otherwise you wouldn't want to try and deal with this. If nothing else, get some therapy for yourself and for any member of the family that would be willing to do it. Support your mother and brothers as best you can.
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