Need advice about a complicated relationship...?

THis is a little complicated so I'm going to explain some details. Over a year ago, I started seeing a man 15yrs my senior (me-27, him-42). He was hesitant about dating because of our age difference and the fact that his last 3 long-term relationships ended with him getting his heart broke and left him w trust issues. We decide to give it a try regardless of the age or the past. Everything between us was perfect, and after a month of dating, we slept together. This caused even more intense feelings between us both, but at the same time he started distancing himself more. IT got to the point that he said we shouldn't see each other anymore and I agreed because he distanced himself so far. Instead of dating and becoming serious, we were casual friends. We also see each other daily because we work together :)


Well, over the past year, we are still friends and occasionally we go out and have a few drinks, which ends with us sleeping together. We talk almost every day, and there are obvious feeling between us. Whenever I ask him what he wants from me, he doesn't ever know. He tells me that he can't take getting his heart broke again and he says that he doesn't know if he will ever let a woman in his life again. But he already let me in his life over a year ago! He also says that I am the only woman he's been with since he and his x broke up. Another thing that happens is that when I pursue him and tell him how i feel, he ';runs,'; but when I avoid him, he's right there in my life again like nothing ever happened.


I am madly in love with this guy, he's not perfect, but he has a great job, is an excellent cook, is open, caring; etc... We share the same values and goals in life and have a lot of the same interests. I think that we would be a perfect couple!


Now my question... I don't know whether I should just give up on pursuing a relationship and just remain friends and look for someone else, or if I should pursue him and be patient.... I've tried dating other men while we weren't together and all I thought about was him... I REALLY need some advice about this....Need advice about a complicated relationship...?
Sit down and tell him how much you truly love him and want to be with him but your tired of the games. Tell him that he needs to decide what he wants to do but until he does you can't be friends with him because being friends with him is just way to difficult. After that you need to distance yourself from him until he makes a decision. I know it will be hard but the space between your two will help him figure out what he wants to do. If you continue to chase him and be friends with him he has no incentive to want to settle down and be with you because he knows he will still get to sleep with you and have you in his life without a commitment.Need advice about a complicated relationship...?
Dayum thats a tough one....maybe he just doesn't want to label the situation. Because he prolly has been hurt so bad....so dont push him so much. Just keep doing what your doing and if it's meant to be it will work itself out. Because everything happens for a reason you know?


Hope all is well with you,


Chris
Ultimately he broke up with you and made it clear that he didn't want to have a relationship. Don't waste time because you may resent him in the future.
date a guy ur own age
This situation seems to have very little to do with the age difference between you both. You seem to be a very mature individual who is not begging this guy to be with you, but trying to be a support for him. It is understandable that you want more from him, but there in lies the problem. The older we as men get, the more set in our ways we become. He stated he has had his heartbroken 3 times. That is pretty hardcore for any guy. He seems to have put his heart and soul into previous relationships that ended poorly. Now he may be at a point where he is choosing to try a different path. You stated that your are madly in love with him and that he does not want to let a woman in his life again. For him, that may be true. Just because you are in love with him doesnt mean he feels the same. It is much more likely that his feelings are deeply buried and well guarded. So please do not assume he feels even 1/10th the way you do. That being said, it seems you have a couple options here.


1. Drop him and look for someone that matches more of what you are looking for and find someone who is willing to offer you what you seem to need.


2. Stick with him in the hope that when he overcomes this problem that he will look to you for a relationship.





Honestly, the second option is very unlikely. Depends on if he has found a rebound following his last heartbreak or if you were/are the rebound.





Either way I wish you luck. Hope this helps.