Need advice about roommate/husband's friend...?

My husband's friend needed help and my husband approached me about him moving in two months ago. I told my husband I am really uncomfortable with people in ';my space,'; but that I'd like to help him. My husaband and I prepared to move at the first of July and he sprung on me that his friend was going to be moving in. We hadn't really talked about it much since the first discussion. I told him to at least give me a few weeks in our new house before he moves, that would give his friend time to save a little money (we're splitting bills 3 ways). Well, his friend moved in only a few days after we moved into our new house. So, I just left all my friends, an excellent job and am about to start law school and I'm stressed. My hubby got a job in our new town quick, but his friend hasn't. He has tried and he's here all the time! He's a very nice and polite person, can be annoying and a know it all, but nice. I just can't stand him. My hubby knows how i feel and is apologetic. What should I do!!?Need advice about roommate/husband's friend...?
I know how you feel. I have had un-invited guest plenty of times. It is very hard to deal with. I felt like my space is not my own and I should not have to share it.





My boyfriend has had some VERY unsavory guest in my home. Guests that went through my belongings, ate my food, used personal items, lied to me and my boyfriend when confronetd, would leave my door un-locked when they left, made noise at all hours of the night. Finally I made these guests lives a living hell so they left willingly.





And you let these things anger you and build up to the point where it really really gets to you. And you feel it is not your place to say anything to these people because they are not your friend or your guest. I always have a hard time confronting people so I let it well up inside of me and then it becomes too much and there is a melt down. I felt that if my boyfriend respected my feelings he would make it clear to his guest what the rules an dbounderies are and if they broke it, then he would make sure they knew they were out of line. But it never ever was that way. I would always seem like a raving b***tch because I would let these feeling build up and then they would blow.





It is good that this guy is polite, it would be really bad to have a rude know it all. I would just take what he says with a grain of salt. If he was such a know it all he would not be homeless and relying on others to survive. He probably feels like less of a man because he can't support himself so he covers it up with a know it all act.





It is good that you are willing to open your life and home to help others, I give you kudos for that. I also assume you love your husband as you're willing to help his friend out because you know your husband wants it.





But I assume this person is an adult and though there is nothing worng with needing help for a little while, he needs to stand on his own 2 feet and not rely on you and your husband. The two of you may only make it harder for him when he gets comfortable, realizes he can life the good life for free off the backs of you and your husbands hard work. And you need to make sure he knows that is not the case.





It needs to be made clear that this is temporary until he can get on his own 2 feet. That way he does not get lazy and too comfortable. It needs to be made clear that there are rules and it is YOUR house.





It is very wrong if all he does is laze about your house while your husband and yourself are out working. He may be proud but even if it comes to working in fast food or grocery there is NO REASON that this person can not get a job. People do what they have to to make ends meet even if it means swallowing pride and taking a job a teenage boy would be working at.





I have had people suck me dry. It is emotionally draining. If you start to see it effecting your relationship with your husband and it gets to the point where you can't stand the guy... it is not worth it, make him get out before things get really bad.





Just try to keep in ming that you are doing a good thing and it is only temporary and your husband will love you for it.





Maybe ask the guy to give you your house for yourself for a while. That ALWAYS annoyed me, when every waking moment you were at home there was ';that invador'; sitting on your couch, invading your time and space. Ask him to leave for a weekend, stay with another friend, go camping, visit family. Then you will have your house to yourself for a little while.





Do not let feelings bottle up. If something is on your mind... say it. I know it is so hard but he will respect you for it and if he does not... then he really should not be in your home. People are not mind readers, if you have an issue, feeling or a problem... let it be known or they will keep doing it





I am dealing with a leach I have had for 4 years. I have low self esteem and had fears of being alone so I let this guy take advantage of me. It is a boyfriend so it is even harder. I have dealt with him being a leach and his leach friends. I have had it and I do not want another unwanted house guest ever again lol.





Anyway, hope this helps. Good luck with everything!!!Need advice about roommate/husband's friend...?
Your husband took advantage of you in this situation, and didn't discuss it with you enough, at all.





I suppose you will have to tell the guy he has ';X'; amount of time to get a job, and then ';X'; amount of time to find his own place... that's what i would do, especially if the guy's presence bothered me so much.
Bad situation, girl:( Are you with this guy alone in the house? Thats dangerous:( What if he feels lonely and makes a move on you and you can't resist for very long? Your life will be ruined!


Here is an Idea. Ask your mom or some one else you like to move in with you so you can be in better company. Hope I helped:)
Make him pay rent, clean up after himself and make his own meals and buys his own food. Don't make it comfortable for him, boundaries have him out in three months, so that's a total of five months he would have lived there, that's all you can handle. Tell your husband if he wanted to marry his friend and to take care of him then why did he marry you? Oh if the guy is under 25 have him join Job Corps so he can free room and broad elsewhere and get some job skills.
Well, I suggest you all sit down and come up with a reasonable time line of exactly how long your husband's friend will be staying. I also suggest that you keep track of the money that he will be owing you once he gets a job for the time that he has lived for free under your roof. I think this will prevent the most hostility towards him. Also, help him to find a place of his own. I would constantly bring up the subject of him moving out (but not so much that he feels terribly unwelcome, but enough to make him feel the need to get a move on) maybe by circling apartment adds in the newspaper or anything else like that.